


A Lost Simmons

by Gryff1ndor



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: bad language, violence and rape in later chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-04 00:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2902685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gryff1ndor/pseuds/Gryff1ndor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma isn't rescued by Bobbi and she has to fend off hydra on her own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. RUN

Jemma was just the worlds worst liar working undercover for the worlds worst organization... She was sure something would go wrong, but why did it have to happen so quickly? It wasn't her fault, as far as she knew, but suddenly there were men coming towards her and on her screen was a picture. After a closer look, she found (but it couldn't be... But it was) a picture of her giving S.H.I.E.L.D. hydra's information. She suddenly wondered, if someone else cuts off one head and two return, then what happens when the own snake kills itself... Will the two other heads that grow back try to kill the head that attacked the first? Her train of thought was interrupted by two men with machine guns coming towards... Yep... Definitely her.

She ran as fast as she could, which on an adrenaline rush was admittedly faster than her and Fitz. She was running to her apartment to grab her get-away bag. When she arrived, she found two guards inside her apartment and she grabbed the night night gun and shot them. After apologizing profusely and explaining why she had to shoot them, she grabbed all the money possible and clothes and her lab notes and ran.


	2. capture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the title says

Jemma had decided that she would find the nearest taxi and then get out of the city and try to contact Coulson and Fitz.   
Fitz- she thought. She could almost see his disappointed face in her head questioning why she ran away. A small tear formed on her cheek and she quickly brushed it away. No... she wouldn't cry. She would focus on the task at hand. She quickly called a cab from her hotel and got into the back seat.  
"How far will $40 get me?" She asked the taxi driver.  
"With Hydra, not very far," The taxi driver- wait no- the HYDRA AGENT replied.   
Oh shit- Jemma thought and as she turned to leave, the doors locked.   
Then a black bag was slipped over her head and she started thinking but only three words ran through her mind as she was led to her unknown destination...

 

 

Oh, God, and Fitz.

She wasn't exactly sure why she was saying God seeing as she didn't believe in that God or any god really, but nonetheless she was. She then realized that they hadn't taken her phone away. She put it into her bra-cup and hoped it looked in-conspicuous, and then decided that she would try and put on the tracking chip that Fitz had given her in case of emergency... Yep... this definitely qualifies as an emergency- jemma thought. 

Suddenly, the car stopped, and two men with deep gravelly voices started talking about something what that something was she wasn't entirely sure. And then she was being forced to walk up a lot of stairs (she lost count at 52), take 4 rights and 2 lefts, and then was pushed into a cell.   
"Take that bag off her head, Buruk," One man said.  
"Why don't you, Keji?" the other said.  
"Because I'm higher in ranks and just told YOU to take the damn bag of her head," Keji finished.  
And then, the bag was off of her head and she was in a dark room. There was a bed and food and water on the table, but she thought against eating or drinking them.   
They could have one of the many chemicals in that food to knock her out and do whatever they would want to her. She couldn't stand the thought of them having her body without her consent so instead she thought of something different. And, like always, her thoughts roamed to Fitz.

He was probably telling himself that he was the reason why she left, that he should've just forgiven her, that he was responsible. She wanted to tell him that she left because she made him worse not because he was neglecting her. She wanted to tell him that she wasn't hurt in any way, and that she loved him. She realized it after the first month at Hydra. She realized that she, Jemma Simmons, was in love with the most dorky and adorable and sweetest man in the world, Leopold Fitz. The tears started falling then, and she didn't even try to stop them. She didn't sob. She just wept. Silently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked it... I'm not very good at angst so sorry :S if you guys want anything then just say so. The name Buruk is indonesian for bad (at least thats what google translate says) and google translate also says that Keji means mean or vile or nasty so yah. Sorry for the language and hope you guys have a great new years


	3. torture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hydra begins torturing Jemma

Jemma slept for exactly 30 minutes after she sent out the distress signal. Unfortunately, she found no more comfort in sleeping and therefore stayed up for most of the night. Where are they? she kept wondering as hours passed by until men walked in. Then, the bag was over her head, again, and she was being dragged to some unknown room in an unknown place. She smelled a moldy sort of setting and heard water dripping off of walls therefore she knew she must be underground somewhere, but that was as far as she got in identifying her surroundings. Then, without any warning, the bag was yanked off her head and she was put into a chair with hand and foot cuffs. She struggled against the contraption, but it was no use. She was trapped. She was as good as dead. 

A few minutes later a man walked in. He was Russian judging by his accent, and six foot four inches with a shaven face and hard brown eyes. This was not a man that one would want to be trapped in a room tied down with- Jemma thought not quite sure what she was going to do.   
"We will begin now," the man said.  
"What are we beginning? Where am I? Why haven't you killed me yet?" Jemma asked questions pouring out of her before she could stop herself.  
"Questioning is disobedient," the man answered. She just heard his words before a searing pain of electricity was sent flowing throughout her body sending her screaming in pain.   
"You will learn not to be disobedient," the man stated calmly, "Hydra does not like disobedience."  
No. You are a shield agent. You are Jemma Simmons. You will not let him break you- Jemma thought over and over again.  
"She is not listening," the man said finding that she had transported herself to another place, "send some tools in here and zap her one more time."  
And then, just as quickly as it had stopped, it started again. The pain was like knives being stabbed into her repeatedly many many times. She considered this lucky compared to what happened next. The man, now with his tools, picked out a scalpel-like instrument and examined it then deciding that it was fit for whatever he was going to do to her. He then positioned the scalpel over her arm, and cut away a small layer of skin leaving part of her arm searing with pain and exposed for infection. He then picked up a liquid and poured it into the exposed area.   
"This is cyanide. Actually it is a small dose used to kill off a small section of your arm. We will... well. You'll see what we're going to do, Ms. Simmons," the man answered. Jemma knew what they were going to do. She had seen it in her training, and she was the more scared than she had ever been at that moment. 

Then... they started the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters... just the plot... thanks for reading. Comment if you want anything to happen or if you want me to write a fic about something (not inappropriate)
> 
> -gryff1ndor


	4. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma is found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Or the characters in the show... just the plot line that you see here

*Fitz's POV  
It had been a full year and 10 days since Jemma had sent out the distress signal. They had been searching for almost all of the time. This was their fourth bust in the past month, but he knew Jemma wouldn't be here. If she was, he didn't know what he would do... what they had done to her. She might not even be the Simmons that he remembered. Then Coulson was speeking through his com device, "Fitz. We're in the basement... we found her."

That was all Fitz needed to hear before he was sprinting down the stairs onto the basement floor. He was running towards Coulson, but Coulson wasn't wearing the happy, joy-filled face... it looked like pity, and that was when Fitz saw her. She was pale, malnurished, and had been left there to die. He ran to her and felt for a heart beat...

 

It was faint, but it was there. It was there. Fitz sighed a breath of relief before kneeling down to look at her injuries, and he was suddenly repulsed to see what they had done to her. She had a dead part of skin and multiple incisions on her arms as well as some cuts on her head and legs. He needed to get her to a hospital stat.

*Jemma's POV  
They had left her to die about ten hours ago. She would die without telling Fitz that she loved him. One year, and she had still kept her sanity. One year and she was still surving. That was when she passed out, and when she woke she was in a hospital bed and suddenly she was flashing back to before.

*Flashback  
"NO! PLEASE! FITZ HELP... HELP ME... PLEASE," She yelled, but Fitz wasn't there. The men were kicking her again. They were trying to get her unconscious so that they could rape her... again. She wouldn't let it happen. Fitz wouldn't either. He would stop this... he would. She believed in him.

 

Fitz never came. 

 

The next day she woke up in the hospital bed, and they started the incisions again. 

*end flashback

Fitz's POV  
"What did you do to her!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Fitz was furious now. He had left Jemma alone for one second, and she had gone screaming like a mad woman.  
"I don't know, sir. One minute she was fine, and then she was yelling for someone to save her," the doctor replied.  
"WHO WAS SHE BLOODY YELLIN' FOR," Fitz knew the answer, but he had to hear it.  
"You sir. She wanted you to save her from some men," the doctor answered, "Sir, we believe that Ms. Simmons should be left alone from the time being."  
"ALONE! I'M NOT BLOODY LEAVIN' HER. YOU WILL HAVE TA' DRAG MY CORPSE FROM THIS DAMN ROOM. I WILL BE BESIDE HER THE WHOLE DAMN TIME." Fitz yelled furious that the doctor had even suggested the idea.

"Fitz? Please help me," Jemma said feebily as she passed out again. He immediately ran over to her bedside.  
"I'm here, Jem. I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise," Fitz sayed as he kissed her forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment/kudos... leave any non-inappropriate prompts for me (hopefully on AOS) and thanks for reading
> 
>  
> 
> -gryff1ndor


	5. Awoken and scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitzsimmons!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't own anything but the plot line.

Jemma's POV  
She woke up, again, except this time feeling a slight depression at the end if her bed. After looking down, she found Fitz there on his electronic device.   
"Hello, Fitz," Jemma said smiling at his concentrated expression. He suddenly looked up, flustered and hopeful realizing that it was Jemma who was speaking to him.  
"I missed you, Fitz. I thought I wouldn't ever see you again. I thought after that hell I went through that I would never get to see you again, and then I laughed and told myself that Fitz was too stubborn to never see me again."  
Fitz smiled and chuckled laying down besides Jemma, and then he noticed it.  
"Jem," Fitz said urgently.  
"What, Fitz?" And then she noticed it. It was his hand.

 

 

 

It had stopped shaking.   
"Fitz. I knew you could do it! I knew it!" Jemma exclaimed then realizing something she stated, "I'm sorry I held you back from this. I knew I made you worse and I kept you from this for weeks. I'm sorry, Fitz. I understand if you want me to leave."

"Jemma," Fitz said firmly, "This is the firs' time this has happened. Ya' made me better. Ya' healed me. And, even though ya' don't love me... I would still like ta' be Fitzsimmons."  
"About that Fitz," this was the time to fess up. She had to tell him, but it was so bloody hard to express feelings, "while I was at Hydra, I thought a lot about love. Particularly how I felt about you. I came to the conclusion after the first month that...that... Oh bloody hell." And then she kissed him. She felt a supernova explode in her stomach. It was like she had found life's meaning. She knew then that she belonged with Fitz. She belonged to Fitz. Her own little lion.

Fitz's POV  
She was kissing him! And he felt his stomach turn over and over and over. He loved Jemma Simmons... Her crinkled nose when she was mad... Her expression when she was concentrating... Her eyes... Her scolding... Her knowledge of venomous creatures... He loved her.

 

And that was when Skye walked in. 

"GUYS SIMMONS IS AWAKE AND FITZ AND SIMMONS ARE KISSING! COME QUICK!" Fitz inwardly groaned and broke away from Simmons as the whole team came crashing into the room.

"Hi, guys," simmons said shyly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you guys liked it? I'm am soooooooooooooo sorry for not updating... As I explained in my other fic, I'm moving my mum up to our new home Ina few months and stupid science fair is getting in the way... Thanks for sticking with me... Comment/kudos
> 
>  
> 
> -gryff1ndor


	6. The explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Jemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't own anything but the plot line

Jemma's POV

After a plethora of hugs and "glad your back"s, Jemma was asked for a debriefing. Only Coulson and May were required to hear it, but Jemma invited anyone who wanted to hear it to do so.  
"Just start from the beginning," Coulson said.

"Well....  
The first day, I was brought to an electric chair. I endured a small dosage of electricity... Just enough to emit pain. No real harm," at that both Skye and mays eyes got wide a bit before retracting to normal size.  
"I was given cyanide in this portion of my arm. They were, I suspect, going to put in some kind of metal arm. They prepped me every other day for the 'final incision'."  
"Jemma, I'm really sorry, but I need to know exactly what they did," Coulson said.  
"Yes well, it was very painful I can tell you that much. Ok... Well the first day they put a very small dosage of cyanide on my skin and, before the cyanide seeped through it, they started cutting in that area. They would cover my blood vessels and bones and muscle tissue with different kinds of metal to prep for something bigger. I was scared that I would have metal poisoning, but they told me that I was safe from it.... Then they zapped me. I suspect it was to remind me that my questioning was disobedient because every time I asked a question then they would zap me," by then Skye, trip, and Fitz had tears in their eyes.  
"They continued with this process, as I said before, every other day. By the time you guys got there, my whole right arm was covered with different sorts of metals on the inside."  
"What happened on tha' other days, Jem?" Fitz asked.  
"Um... Well... It was different but usually umm."

Skye's POV  
Skye had seen that face before. Kids from the orphanage would wear that face after someone had... Oh god.

Jemma's POV  
Skye had seemed to have gotten the idea and was now hugging her with a horrified expression. May had also seemed to have gotten the idea. In fact it was only the boys that hadn't.  
"They would ummm they would call it their ummm their extra reward," Jemma said tears staining her face, and all the guys finally got it. Trip punched a wall in. Coulson stood there shocked. Fitz started mumbling something about a new weapon.  
"Well.... That was about it until they found you guys coming towards the compound. They shot me, and said to put me in the basement so that you guys wouldn't find me until it was too late... Thanks for finding me in time," Jemma finished and by then everyone had years running down their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to finish this one off soon so just wait a few weeks and it will be done.
> 
> Thanks  
> Gryff1ndor


	7. Blood samples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma has nightmares, and she takes her blood.

Jemma woke up screaming from a nightmare with tears running down her face and she quickly found the corner of her bed, and started rocking back and forth. By then, Fitz had woken up and run over to Jemma to comfort her.   
"Fitz. It- it was so real."  
"Shhhh... you're safe now, Jem. I'll never let them touch ya' again," Fitz said soothing her to sleep. After Jemma fell asleep, Fitz laid her down in her bed and tucked her in with extra blankets this time, and he returned to the uncomfortable hospital chair with a cup of tea in his hands waiting to protect Jemma if any danger should come. 

As Fitz's wrist watch was just about to go off to remind him that it was 7:00 a.m., Jemma let at a gut lurching scream. Immediately Fitz was across the room yelling at the doctor.  
"WHAT DID YA' DO! YA MUCK EVERY BLOODY THING UP! SHE WAS SLEEPIN AND YA DECIDE TO JUST WAKE HER UP! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YA?!?!?!?!"   
"Sir, I need to test her blood, and give her an MRI to make sure that they haven't caused long term damage."  
"No"  
"Sorry, sir, but this has to be done."  
"No. She has metal in her ARM ya bloody idiot. You'll KILL her."  
"We were not aware of the metal issue or we wouldn't even have considered the option," the doctor reassured him giving Jemma a pitying look.  
"Fitz, it's fine. I just overreacted," Jemma said heat rising to her cheeks,  
"But, Jem. They could've hurt ya'," Fitz said with a confused and protective expression.  
"I know, but I wouldn't have let that happen, would I?"  
"No... Course not. Your too smart for that. Ya would've ummm would've stopped it."  
"Thank you doctor. If you leave the blood testing tubes here then Fitz and I can do the procedure," the doctor looked about to protest, but set the materials down and exited the room.  
"C'mere, Fitz," Jemma said pulling Fitz onto the bed into a, their second, kiss.  
"Love you, Jem," Fitz mumbled through the kiss.  
"I know," Jemma said after breaking away due to need for oxygen.  
"I love you too, Fitz," Jemma said.

*later that evening  
"COULSON," Skye yelled seeing Jemma with blood on her hands, and cuts on her arms.  
"Skye! I promise whatever you think I was doing I was not doing it."  
"What Skye," Coulson said walking into the room," HOLY SHIT. JEMMA!"  
"Bloody hell," Jemma muttered under her breath.  
"I was just taking blood for the doctors, but my hands aren't steady yet so I cut myself by ACCIDENT."  
"Oh, ok then," Coulson said casually walking out of the room.  
"Sorry Jemma. I sort of freaked out, but I have a right to be."  
"Skye, it's fine really. I'm just a bit sleep deprived so my bloody hands shake."   
"I would say that I would help, but I'm no better at it than you, but guess what? I brought my laptop and with that comes.... Drum roll please... NETFLIX!"   
"Dr. Who?"  
"Fine, but only cause you just got captured. This is not going to be a regular thing."  
"Yes," Jemma said.  
"What episode?"  
"Ummmmm lets do season 3 episode 7."  
"The Lazarus experiment?"  
"Yep, that's the one!"  
And so simmons, Skye, and Fitz watched Dr. Who for half of the night laughing and eating pizza, and simmons didn't know if she had ever had a better time in her life. After all, she had her boyfriend and her best friend watching dr. Who and eating pizza. What was there not to love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few more chapters and then I'm done... I promise. Sorry it's taken so long...mi had to do science fair and now I have to go to regionals :( comment/kudos. Thanks!
> 
> -gryff1ndor


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SADNESS

Epilogue

_10 days later_

"WHATS HAPPENING?!!?!?!!?!!?!!?!" Fitz screamed scared that he would loose Jemma.

"Get him out of here," a doctor yelled as nurses shoved him out of the room locking the door.

"WHATS BLOODY HAPPENING TO MY JEMMA," Fitz thought... His Jemma... His Jemma. That's what he thought until the doctors came to the waiting room 2 hours and 34 minutes later, Fitz had kept count on his watch scared that if he did them he would lose her.

"What happened to her?" Fitz asked scared of the answer remembering Jemma's body suddenly arching and her scream piercing the air.

"She had a seizure. I'm sorry sir, but we did all we could. She's on life support right now, and it would be a good idea to call her parents to put her affairs in order... Something was inside of the metal in her body, slowly taking her over as if it had a mind of its own. It was in her blood; there was no way to stop it. We only noticed it when it invaded her white blood cells and then her brain. We've only seen this virus before in one other person. It's like it can't infect anyone but them as if it can only infect people who have had something that we haven't."

Fitz thought for 10 minutes in the waiting room crying, trying to find what made Jemma different... That's when he remembered that only two other people had come into contact with the Chitauri virus. His Jem and a man that, now that he remembered correctly, was diagnosed with something quite similar after hydra captured him. Fitz stood up and ran to the doctors telling them the news.

"ITS THE VIRUS! THEY MADE SOMETHING REACT WITH THE CHITAURI VIRUS! FIX IT! NOW YOU KNOW IT WAS THE BLOODY VIRUS! WHY ARE YOU JUST BLOODY STANDING THERE... DO SOMETHING!"

"Sir, no one knows what the virus is, how it reacts with her system, how it spreads, really... anything about it. Even if we did know about it, it would take years to make a cure. I'm sorry sir, but the patient is incurable. I suggest you contact her parents."

_Simmons and he had done it. They had cured a virus without anything. Why couldn't the doctors?_ **Because no ones simmons** \- Fitz thought and then immediately rebuked the idea because that would mean that she wouldn't be cured, and she had to be.

"Her name is Jemma," and with that Fitz left the room.

 

_2 months later_

"Ok, Jems, what do you want to hear tonight? How about an episode of doctor who and a few chapters of harry potter?" Fitz asked, and, when no answer came, he continued, "How about the Lazarus experiment? Haven't watched that one in a while have we?"

In fact, they hadn't watched it since the night with Skye 2 months ago. He purposefully avoided that one because she always thought that the gene mutation was the best part, and he couldn't watch it without her comments. The comments that would make him say, 'shhh I'm watching a film. It's no wonder no one will go to the cinema with ya.'

Then he would get a playful slap on the arm, and she would laugh and continue watching the film. This time there was silence. No witty remarks. No comments on the scientific inaccuracies. No Jemma. It was only fitting that he watched this episode seeing as it was the last one that they'd watched when she was still conscious. Now it'll be the last one that she listened to when she was last breathing. Once the credits started rolling, Fitz left a note in her hand. Only she would read it if she ever could. That was the way he wanted it to be. He still remembered what he wrote down as if it was yesterday

 

_Dear Jemma,_

_I remember the day when we first met at the academy. We were getting out of a class, and someone, an older girl, who's theory you had proven wrong during class shoved you causing all your books to drop. You didn't back down when she told you something that no one else could hear. You said, "it's not my fault that your theories are so poorly built. They should barely qualify as theories. There's no supporting evidence or any thought. It's honestly just a what if statement which hardly even starts a sentence much less a theory." That was the point in which I stepped in and told the bully that you were right by saying that from an engineering and biological standpoint nothing she said would make sense. That was when we met, and weeks later we were Fitzsimmons. I bring this up because I can't help but thinking what if you were here. I know that you would scold me and tell me to get on with my life,but I can't. I feel like I can never move on because you are my second half the Holmes to my Watson the Ginny to my Harry and the simmons to my Fitz. I feel like I am the last of my existence like how the doctor feels having to travel through space and time alone forever. I love you forever, and I will never forget you... How could I? Yesterday I officially changed my name to Leopold Fitzsimmons. I told my mum and she cried telling me that the only sensible one of us was gone. She always loved you. Felt you were her long lost daughter... I know you always liked peonies, but today I brought you lilacs because the florist told me that they represented first loves and you are my first and only love._

_I love you,_

_Leopold Fitzsimmons_

Fitz was with her the whole damn time till her last breath.

 

 

_1 year after the plug was pulle_ d

Fitz had moved through the ranks except this time as a specialist. He could see her now, in his mind,... Scolding him, but he didn't mind because she was there. That was when he heard her shout... The gun shot... That was when he died... That was when he met her again... That was when he cried. He had found Jemma. After a year, he had found Jemma, and she was holding lilacs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me :)   
> Sorry
> 
>  
> 
> -gryff1ndor


End file.
